Юмор на английском

В помощь изучающим язык на карантине. Буду благодарна за анекдоты на испанском, я все еще дергаюсь изредка, изображая изучение оного языка. Муж прислал, а лучше анекдотов лекарств от стресса не придумано. Пардон, с катом не справилась тут

Husband and wife are lying quietly in bed and reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question:
WIFE: "What would you  do if I died? Would you get married again?"
 HUSBAND: "Definitely  not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't  you like being married?"
 HUSBAND: "Of course  I do."
 WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you  remarry?"
HUSBAND:  "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: (with a hurt look) "You  would?"
HUSBAND:  (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live  in our house?"
HUSBAND:  "Certainly. It's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep  with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND:  "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her  drive my car?"
HUSBAND:  "Probably. It is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace  my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND:  "That would seem to be the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give  her my jewellery?"
HUSBAND:  "No. I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?"
 HUSBAND: "Yes, I  would."
WIFE: "Would she use my  clubs?"
HUSBAND:  "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - silence -
HUSBAND:  " . . . Shit!"
promo notabler february 2, 2012 09:13 39
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По кончикам верб Голоса за дверью - мама, папа, сестры. Детство. Я проснулся. Слюнка натекла... Вспомню - будто возвращусь на укромный остров. Там тепло. До смерти хватит мне тепла. Яблоки с айвою, с ноткою тумана- запах. Так, наверное, должен пахнуть рай... Принеси мне яблочко, мама...…


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